The Plot Thickens or New Job Update

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Breaking up is hard to do — and for good reason.  The emotional pain of a split can last for years, and if you have mutual friends, children or live in the same area, those lasting wounds can be opened time and time again.

It took me the better part of four years to finally be emotionally free of my first and last serious boyfriend/partner.  For many reasons – not least the fact that he left me for someone else – the split was messy and hard and nasty.  Actually, if we didn’t have a child together I would have lost contact with him a long time ago.

The nastiness of our break-up aside, I knew that as the father of my son I would have to make concessions about this man.  It hasn’t been easy or fun yet over the years we’ve managed to maintain a tolerable relationship.   I’ve chosen the “Kill him with kindness” approach, I pick my battles, and generally keep my opinions to myself; because despite our failed relationship, we must remain thoughtful and courteous to each other for the sake of our son – though there are times when that doesn’t quite happen.

Now that our son has entered his teenage years and favors socializing with friends over weekends with his father, I rarely need to interact with the man; which suits me perfectly.

In an incredible twist of fate this man whom I shared my life, my home, my bed, broke my heart and fathered my only biological child, is now my BOSS.

Yes, that brand-spanking-new job I started last Monday.

Yes, I was aware when he offered me the job that I would be reporting to him directly.

Yes, it IS a bit awkward.

While the thought of him can sometimes still make your skin crawl, however, somehow I must remain objective and professional.  My first week on the job was quiet and productive.  I’d say, that’s a pretty darn good start.

12 thoughts on “The Plot Thickens or New Job Update

  1. Wishing you the best with your new job and that it may transcend the past. My parents had long years of discord after a painful divorce, it’s hard to believe that in their old age they’ve become amicable moreover my mother provides even support for my dad when we can’t. I congratulate you because killing him with kindness isn’t as easy as it sounds.

    1. Thanks for your good wishes, Fanny/iz4blue! Dealing with my son’s father through the years hasn’t been easy, but I’ve always considered that it was important to do so in the most diplomatic way possible. I know I can separate my professional relationship from my personal relationship with him. Hopefully he can do the same.

  2. Now I have a better idea of why it was such a dilemma for you. Sounds like he’s behaving well? Best wishes for continued good cooperation.

    1. Surprisingly, yes, he is behaving. Our personalities and therefore our parenting styles are polar opposites. How a person treats his inferiors says a lot about who he is and well, He’s such a difficult man. I’ll be blogging about him in the future. I just want to make sure that it doesn’t come across as me bashing him.

  3. OMG, didn’t see that coming. I teach in a corporation where my ex-BF works, throughout the years he’s actually reached a very high position. We’re on friendly terms, although I always say it’s an uncomfortable situation to meet your ex at work every day.
    Having said that, a job is a job and if you do yours well and he can behave himself in a proper manner, this could work just fine. From what I gather there’s no emotional attachment anymore (I still get butterflies when I see my ex, so that doesn’t work too well), time has passed, so I say go with it, be professional and do what you’re paid to do 🙂
    Good luck and hugs!

    1. Oh yes, when there are still feelings involved it is very hard to maintain an appearance of indifference…. He and I are way past romantic feelings…I’m confident that I can remain professional and focused. Thanks for the luck and hugs…I’ll need plenty. 😀

  4. Wow!! All the best. I don’t have any problem seeing my ex in daily life, because we ended in a friendly way, but I think if I had to answer to him, I’d probably have a bit more tension with that. Of course, my divorce was final only about 3 weeks ago. lol
    Good luck and we’ve got your back!! xoxoxo

    1. Three weeks is still quite recent. The man is not my cup of tea yet I can tolerate him. However, I have the sneaky suspicion that his latest GF is not going to be as tolerable. She called the office today and I could almost hear her jaw hit the floor when she heard my name. Of course I’m not supposed to know about this GF so I treated the call like any other. The look on his face when I told him who was on hold for him was classic! If there hadn’t been new employees in the lobby I might have burst out laughing. It amuses me how even after all these years he still finds it necessary to keep his GF’s secret from me. 😀

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