Breaking up is hard to do — and for good reason. The emotional pain of a split can last for years, and if you have mutual friends, children or live in the same area, those lasting wounds can be opened time and time again.
It took me the better part of four years to finally be emotionally free of my first and last serious boyfriend/partner. For many reasons – not least the fact that he left me for someone else – the split was messy and hard and nasty. Actually, if we didn’t have a child together I would have lost contact with him a long time ago.
The nastiness of our break-up aside, I knew that as the father of my son I would have to make concessions about this man. It hasn’t been easy or fun yet over the years we’ve managed to maintain a tolerable relationship. I’ve chosen the “Kill him with kindness” approach, I pick my battles, and generally keep my opinions to myself; because despite our failed relationship, we must remain thoughtful and courteous to each other for the sake of our son – though there are times when that doesn’t quite happen.
Now that our son has entered his teenage years and favors socializing with friends over weekends with his father, I rarely need to interact with the man; which suits me perfectly.
In an incredible twist of fate this man whom I shared my life, my home, my bed, broke my heart and fathered my only biological child, is now my BOSS.
Yes, that brand-spanking-new job I started last Monday.
Yes, I was aware when he offered me the job that I would be reporting to him directly.
Yes, it IS a bit awkward.
While the thought of him can sometimes still make your skin crawl, however, somehow I must remain objective and professional. My first week on the job was quiet and productive. I’d say, that’s a pretty darn good start.
On many of the blogs I’ve been reading lately authors talk about the many situations they are going through, how trying these are and how incredibly stressed their lives have become – myself included. We each have our particular way letting off steam: knitting, writing, crafting, reading, participating in one or several fandom activities…
Life is hard and complicated enough without others judging how one chooses to let off steam. I think that when we live and let live, we don’t have the need to criticize, judge, or condemn others. Each of us is dealing with our own set of situations – some severe, some not so much yet all are struggles for each of us individually. So why not let others live their own lives and we live ours in the best way we know how.
In the meantime, let’s enjoy this lovely cake, perhaps with a side of chocolate ice cream! When in doubt, chocolate is always the answer!
If you haven’t watched this gem of a film you should add it to your Netflix queue and watch it sometime this weekend. Director Craig Gillespie does an amazing job of directing the scenes and actors in such a way that many sequences which, on paper, would seem completely perverse or even grotesque, come across as heart warming and endearing. The actors where brilliant, especially Ryan Gosling.
My favorite part of the film is an exchange between Lars, the main character and his brother. It goes like this:
Lars Lindstrom: I was talking to Bianca, and she was saying that in her culture they have these rites of passages and rituals and ceremonies, and, just all kinds of things that, when you do them, go through them, let you know that you’re an adult? Doesn’t that sound great?
Gus: It does.
Lars Lindstrom: How’d you know?
Gus: How’d I know what?
Lars Lindstrom: That you were a man.
Gus: Ahhh. I couldn’t tell ya.
Lars Lindstrom: Was it… okay, was it sex?
Gus: Um. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s uh, yeah, yeah it’s kind of – it’s uh – no. Well, it’s kind of sex but it’s not uh, you know? I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s – uh – good question, good question.
Lars Lindstrom: Yeah, but I have to know
Gus: [dryer buzzes] Hold that thought.
Gus: [in basement] You know, you should ask Dagmar
Lars Lindstrom: I did ask Dagmar. And she said that I should ask you.
Gus: Okay, you know I can only give you my opinion.
Lars Lindstrom: That’s what we want.
Wait for it here it comes, that bit of wisdom tucked in the words of a character in a movie…
Gus: Well, it’s not like you’re one thing or the other, okay? There’s still a kid inside but you grow up when you decide to do right, okay, and not what’s right for you, what’s right for everybody, even when it hurts.
Lars Lindstrom: Okay, like what?
Gus: Like, you know, like, you don’t jerk people around, you know, and you don’t cheat on your woman, and you take care of your family, you know, and you admit when you’re wrong, or you try to, anyways. That’s all I can think of, you know – it sound like it’s easy and for some reason it’s not.
As most of you know I’ve been wrestling with the decision of whether to go back to work or remaining as Niece and Nephews Nanny for the remainder of the school year. Well, I got the job! I’m supposed to start on Monday.
Now just to be clear, I am NOT making life choices based on “movie wisdom” but these words keep going ’round and ’round in my head: “There’s still a kid inside but you grow up when you decide to do right, okay, and not what’s right for you, what’s right for everybody, even when it hurts.”
The patrons at Manhattan coffee shop ‘Snice got more than they bargained for in the above video, which appears to show a woman with telekinetic abilities totally freaking the heck out and wreaking havoc in the shop.
Apparently the folks behind the remake of classic horror film, “Carrie,” staged the whole thing. It’s truly a terrifying scene and so well put together. Totally gave me the heebie-jeebies the first time I saw it.
The second and third time around though I couldn’t help laughing at the the customers’ reactions. jejeje….I know I would have probably run out of that coffee shop though!
This is probably the funniest, most heart-warming compliment I have ever received in my life! LOL!!!
A little background:
Eight years ago I went out on a blind date with a really cool guy. From day one we realized we were meant to be only friends. Our friendship flourished but one evening as he walked me to my car and without any warning he turned around, grabbed me by my waist and attempted to kiss me by locking his lips onto mine and shoving his tongue down my throat while I struggled to push all 260 lbs of him away. It was awful!!! Needless to say we lost touch but after nearly two years I got a message from him today that totally warmed my heart. Here’s an excerpt:
“Shoot I can just close my eyes and think back at the uncomfortable kiss I tried to give you in that night on my drive way and the fact that the Salmon dress you were wearing is what I most remember you in. I know sad! And that you also were able to convince Eric to come out with us that one night and to talk to that girl he was always in love with and they are now planning their marriage. So no matter what, we have this link that can bring a smile out of us anytime the thought comes through. I admire you so much, Mayra. Although I have to admit that for a second there it was just the ass, but I quickly realized you are so much more to me than that!!! I am glad it all played out the way it did, my goodness you are the last person I ever want to hurt. PROMISE.
You can make peepee and poopoo seem like the thing to do, always so positive and charismatic. I have always appreciated that from you. Well Miss Thang, you keep up the tremendous work, and stay in touch. I know it is easier said than done at the end of the day. Every day a little prayer and thought of you carries me a long way. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon.”
He lives in California and I in Texas. Our friendship is not likely to ever be the same again but I will always appreciate the fact that he took the time to let me know how he feels about it now.
As a Christian I am often discouraged by own condition. How can I be a God-Loving Christian when I am so sinful? As you browse my posts you might wonder what kind of believer I am….well, I don’t have an answer to that but I know I need Him. I am human and as human sin is still within me which makes it perfectly normal for me to have ups and downs… There are times when I fail Him and times when through Him and with Him as my strength I can accomplish all things…
Phil 4:12 I know also how to be abased, and I know how to abound; in everything and in all things I have learned the secret both to be filled and to hunger, both to abound and to lack.
Eph .4:9 (Now this, “He ascended,” what is it except that He also descended into the lower parts of the earth? (10) He who descended, He is also the One who ascended far above all the heavens that He might fill all things.)
According to the Lord’s sovereign arrangement, we need both the ups and downs in order to experience Christ. I thank the Lord for all the valleys through which He has taken me. But with the valleys, there have also been hills. The Christian life is not one vast plain; it is a land with many hills and valleys. It is by the hills and valleys that we experience Christ. Young people, do not dream that your life will be level and plain. On the contrary, you will face many valleys and many hills. You will encounter all kinds of circumstances. But in these circumstances you may apply Christ as your secret and experience Him. It is crucial that we learn to apply Christ.
Bible verses are taken from the Recovery Version of the Bible, 1991, and Words of Ministry from Witness Lee, Life-study of Philippians, pp. 251-252. Both are published by Living Stream Ministry, Anaheim, CA