Losing it

Disclamer:  I feel incredibly ridiculous writing about this but as embarrassed as I am about my…shall we say obssession with Richard Armitage,  I’m just going to go for it….hopefully I don’t come off a blithering idiot.  Perhaps it is that I hold a very high opinion of myself….but then saying so would make it seem like I don’t respect other Richard Armitage fans, which is NOT the case….or perhaps I’m simply a snob….No I’m really not…..still I feel ridiculous….particularly because my baby sister recently expressed her concern over my growing admiration for Mr. Armitage…..WHATEVER! This one is for me….I’m gonna write and just “let the chips fall where they may”.  So I apologize in advance if any of my writing is incoherent….after all I AM only human and yes I have lost a few marbles along the way (I suspect I’ll be losing more with each passing year – lol!)….Indulge me please….

Most know me as a level-headed, rational person yet lately I’ve been anything but!  Who would have thought (certaintly NOT me!) that as rational as I am I would fall so shamelessly and irrationally head-over-heels in “LOVE” with an actor.  The last time I felt this way about a celebrity I was 13-years old.  I dreamt about meeting then Mexican-American teen crooning hearthrob, Lorenzo Antonio.  It was the kind of infatuation that would have me dreaming about him day and night.  Inceasantly wondering what it would be like to meet him in person.  Constantly filling notebook pages with drawings hearths with our names inside of our names inside hearts.  Certain that upon meeting me he’d fall madly in love for me as well because I am such a wonderful person inside and out, the kind of person he’d want to spend the rest of his life with (Apparently I thought quite highly of myself!)  Now, at 39, I’ve got it even worse for Richard Armitage.

I am just in awe of him, his talent, he is the epitome of the English Gentleman, he comes off as humble, noble, and hard-working, his velvety baritone voice, his hyper-masculine figure, the depth in his eyes. Oh his eyes!!!! So incredibly mesmerizing that even under prostetic skin managed to captivate me while I watched him play Thorin Oakenshield on The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. His gaze stayed with me for the rest of the night, haunting me…calling to me…as if through them his very soul was speaking to mine (CRAZY MUCH?!?!).  For nearly a week I fought the urge to look him up and when I finally did I was shocked to find he had such a massive loyal following.  Fans dedicated to cataloging his career, using their own talent to showcase his many attributes with fanvids, gifs, wallpapers, blogs.  Enough to keep us crazies lusting over his high cheekbones, his dark hair, his lips, his perfect physique, those eyes and of course that delicious voice!!!

Thorin Oakenshield

So after ogling for awhile I decided to “get to know” my Guy.   First I watched every single episode of Robin Hood.  His smouldering rendition of Guy Gisborne had me salivating for all over again.  Part of me was rooting for this delicious baddie to get the girl and live happily ever after.

Sir Guy of Gisborne
Then I watched him in the period romance drama North & South launching me even deeper into this lunacy that is falling for this amazingly talented and handsome man.  For as long as I can remember my ideal romantic hero has always been Mr. Fitzgerald Darcy (Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice).  While I still like Mr. Darcy an awful lot, the affections of my heart belong to another quite permanently I’m afraid.  The many qualities of Mr. John Thornton appeal to me as a blue-collar modern woman:  He is hard-working, business minded, loyal, sensible, genuine, open to learn from his mistakes, generous to those that prove themselves worthy, devoted to family and friends – an altogether upstanding gentleman and the better man.

Then there’s his charming representation of Harry Kennedy in the Vicar of Dibley, whom Mr. Armitage likens most to himself….(Swoon… *THUD*)  Forgive me while I pick myself off the floor.  Then of course on his turn on MI-5 as tormented spy, Lucas North he kept me entranced once again.

As proof that I’m a total nutcase I did this fun numerology quiz that says I’m 100% compatible with Richard Armitage…. My swooning heart soared when I read: “Compatibility level: 100% – A natural fit that usually produces a very compatible relationship. Mayra Lerma and Richard Armitage make up a creative couple, where Richard has the kind of creativity and sense of humor everybody loves, and Mayra Lerma the warmth and self-sacrificing love for the friends and family members that so easily wins hearts over.  They are probably a popular couple, with an active social life and a large circle of friends. Mayra Lerma has the innate ability to draw from others the kind of loyalty and devotion that lasts a lifetime. The master number 33 is often called the motherhood-, or fatherhood, number.  Healing and comforting is second nature to Mayra Lerma, who will spread it around indiscriminately.”  AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

It’s no wonder my sister is concerned….frankly I too am starting to worry.   This obsession is going on four months and still going strong, only I’m not so vocal about it for fear of being judged….There are plenty of blogs that catalog the growing admiration for Mr. Armitage…Countless of fellow fans have recounted similar experiences to mine…even as I read my own words….

 Mr. Armitage is an exceptionally talented, generous, genuine, and modest human being human being.  His rugged good looks, deep voice, charming personality and awesome acting ability have won him an army of fans over the last few years…..he is without a doubt an incomparable artist dedicated to his craft; yet like many a fellow fan I find myself “stripping him of his human dignity” by fantasizing about him in all manner of situations, often in quite intimate settings (*blushing*- even when I know I’m not alone in doing so).

However, when he appeared on the Lorraine Show in early March of this year, he seemed exhausted and with a bit of a cold and he suddenly he was not just another celebrity object of my girly fantasies  but a very real person…he was tired, sick and still keeping to his grueling  schedule when what he needed most was lots of rests and perhaps some homemade chicken soup.  I’d like nothing better than to get to Richard the person and genuinely offer him my friendship…right!

Perhaps this obsession will subside and he’ll just fade into the background like my other favorite celebrities, maybe I’ll find a way to come to terms with my obsession…maybe….oh, hell, I don’t know….I should just shut up and continue enjoying all things Armitage….


35 thoughts on “Losing it

  1. On or around January 27, 2008 was my first Richard Armitage experience, and today is my third anniversary of running an RA fan blog. I don’t call it love, but something happened. LOL!

    Welcome to the madness. : D

  2. Aw, my dear, resistance is futile. One year in and nothing has subsided for me. Nor do I want it to because he inspires me to dream of so many possibilities.

    Welcome to the mad fun.

      1. I fought it for six months, making myself very unhappy. So I know difference between the two places. Still crazy, but way more fun and happy. : D

      2. If I stop resisting now I’ll be reducing the unhappiness in half the time…definitely something to consider…decisions, decisions…O.o

  3. Ejoy the blissful euphoRiA & its positive rejuvenating benefits 🙂
    My sister was responsible for mine. For her it never went beyond browsing pictures and using them as background on her PC whereas that wasn’t enough for me at all! My exuberance soon tired her out that happened 4 years ago. As with any relationships even virtual ones LOL things evolve I’ve come to accept only to discuss it with people who get it also that this happens to others but NOT necessarily by the same source. Meanwhile I’ve enjoyed the ride and especially the company; welcome to the AArmy 🙂

  4. Welcome to the zoo! Enjoy it and learn from it as much as you can. It’s been instructive to me. Although it’s not like any of the other “loves” I’m familiar with, I guess it’s expanding my definition of “love.”

  5. I’m 4 months in and a new blogger myself. Nice to meet you! I do call it love. There are all kinds. I don’t ever want to be cured of my RAddiction! Luckily my family and friends accept my obsession as part of who I am. They find me very entertaining. Hope your sister doesn’t discourage you!

  6. Intrigued by “I was shocked to find he had such a massive loyal following” – why was that do you think?

    Psst! It’s Fitzwilliam Darcy btw

    1. I was shocked…perhaps because although there are many actors I’ve admired I have never been the kind of fan to follow their career, collect pictures, much less follow blogs, nor form part of any fan club…. not that I am boring or uptight….. ..don’t know why really I just never did…. I guess I didn’t realize just how powerful is the allure of Richard Armitage….and now I can’t get enough of him…O_o

  7. A little over four years for me since I saw N&S and something happened. Yes, obsessive could be the word because I don’t know what occupied my time before. I have enjoyed every moment of these years. I have smiled and laughed and met amazing friends. Look forward to more.

  8. My dear,
    I am so sorry for you.
    But then again – not so really. I know exactly how you feel and how this very surprising journey had started for you. It is exactly the very same journey I had been going onto since I discovered Mr. T. Oakenshield on screen.
    As I am not from an area where Mr. R. Armitage was a popular actor on the small screen I had – in first step – to be overwhelmed by his appearance on the big screen and therefore have stumbled over his name and become aware of a marvellous actor who has seduced his (English) audience several years before with his acting skills.
    Long before I even noticed his name, checked him out on the internet and have become a heavily addicted member of the Armitage Army he obviously was a quite popular actor with a large scope of very interesting roles he had given life to. I am still working on to catch up with all he had done before I noticed him – and this gives me unbelievable pleasure. Also I feel quite guilty for not having been around since the beginning (in 2004) – only checking into at a very late stage of the very interesting way Mr. A. had been gone.
    Me too would have called myself a sober person before – pretty much able to sort out my life by my own. But unfortunately I have not been able to resist this heavy attack on my hormone system. So the only possibility left was to surrender to Mr. A. and completely giving in. Very strange indeed and still not completely accepted. But I work on it also.
    Since several months I spend my free time with sorting out the internet for youtube-videos, following several blogs, following the fandom, read all interviews I can get my hands on, get all DVS available, completely neglect what’s going on in the real world and spend my time watching DVDs, reading blogs and saving photos in my very private directory.
    But – what mostly surprised me was to detect in what good and marvellous company I am in.
    Lovely creative, beautifully educated, highly interesting women out there are in the exact same situation I am in. This it was that definitely and finally draw me in. Since a few months I am lurking around the fandom and every single day I find myself spending really a lot of time to see and hear what my fellow addicts are up to. And I have started to get over the pain and enjoy it.
    It’s a marvellous ride.
    Hop on the ride and enjoy. Just don’t forget – there is a real life out there. At least a kind of.

    1. How funny that you are also “lurking” about struggling to “accept” surrendering to Mr. Armitage! So happy I’m not alone in this feeling… Real life is out there but isn’t wonderful that we can pull up any number of those pictures we’ve saved of him and escape from the dreariness and dive into the his deep blue ocean of his eyes.? 😉

  9. Welcome to to RA fandom. I fell for Richard just over a year ago and even though I have been ogling Hugh Jackman over the past 48 hours my excitement for Richard has not waned. I enjoy being an RA fan and I am proud of it.

    1. Thank you for the warm welcome! I am settling into my fandom…..;)

      There are many lively actors, handsome even, including Hugh Jackman…all very talented in their own right. Yet I find that Richard is incomparable! I just can’t get enough!!!

  10. Four months. We’ll talk when it’s been six years and counting. 🙂 I first encountered RA back in February 2007 when I first saw “North and South” on DVD. He’s been an obsession ever since. Welcome to the Armitage Army.

    1. I find that I am in great company…thank you for such a warm welcome….

      He is so fascinating that I am quite certain I’ll ALWAYS be thus enamoured! ❤

  11. Its like looking into a mirror!!! You just described my experience of falling for Richard almost exactly! Now, I am completely nuts, obsessed and in love. Im tweeting and blogging – both things I never thought I’d do and I think about him all day. (Im not exaggerating, ALL DAY!!) Welcome to the Armitage Army! (oh and the other fans are awesome – they make it so much fun!)

    1. Oh I believe you…I think about him all day too…..he’s so mesmerizing….my 13 year old son rolls his eyes at me every time I mention Richard….(which is often) … 😉

  12. I am a pre Hobbit fan, but by only a few months. Don’t fight it. Enjoy releasing your inner teenager and let go. It’s a wonderful feeling and we might all be crazy, but we are having so much fun, who cares? He has compelled you to write about him and how you respond to him. Have fun exploring your imagination. Welcome.

  13. One more RA blog, yay! I am quite new to Armitage fandom. Something like two months I guess. It was North and South that did me in, but not my first viewing of it, isn’t that a shame? I missed out on a good couple of years of richarding. Kicking myself now, I am. There’s lots to discover, that’s for sure, including all the wonderful, clever, creative offerings of fellow Armitage admirerers. My email box is bursting at the seams and it’s great to come home to all this goodness, thank you ever so much!

    1. DaisyGirl, revel in the joyful madness that is Armitage fandom along with the rest of us….I confess that I’m quite the reluctant fan but it’s just wonderful to be in such great company – everyone is so talented!

  14. Welcome to to RA fandom. 🙂

    The first time I have discovered Richard was in January 2009 in the BBC drama “North and South”. And I’m a fan since then. He’s a great and handsome actor, with a beautiful voice. 😉

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